


I will always love you more than tomorrow

by Hanabiie



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:08:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanabiie/pseuds/Hanabiie
Summary: All Joohyun could remember was how they were once deeply in love with each other.





	I will always love you more than tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is an old work of mine from 2017, now I'm cross posting it over from AFF. I'll be posting my future fics on both AFF and Ao3 too.

 

# I will always love you more than tomorrow

 

 

 

_"Does it make sense to try hard for love?"  
\- Try, Park Won_

 

 

**|| Final**

 

The cold temperature in the room woke Joohyun up in a way that she hadn't anticipated her weekend morning to be like.

Squinting her eyes through the sudden brightness, she peeked down to a blurred view of the hem of her shirt being lifted up, revealing her bare stomach. She shivered. The blanket that was supposed to keep them warm was no longer covering them and was sprawled flatly onto the wooden floor.

It was only a quarter after nine.

Light snores reached her ears. Joohyun ran her fingers through her already disheveled hair and took a quick glance to the side, where the other girl was still sound asleep with her chest moving up and down at steady rate.

She yawned.

Stretching her body while groaning, she moved against the bed sheet and reached her arms out lazily to retrieve the blanket.

After making sure that every edge of the bed was covered, Joohyun proceeded to join into the warmth and wrap her arms possessively around the waist of the other girl before laying her head on her chest. She nuzzled against the soft skin and the separated strands of hair immediately tickle to the other girl's chin, causing her to stir a little in her sleep.

Then, Joohyun felt a familiar pair of arms pulling her closer into a cuddle.

She let out a satisfied grin.

Closing her eyes, her body relaxed subconsciously and she drifted off back to sleep.

 

 

 

 

"I won't be home early tonight."

A figure towered over her and Joohyun felt a pair of arms encircling around her waist from behind but the warmth only stayed for a brief moment before it was quickly replaced by a kiss on her cheek.

The sound of the friction of the moving chair against the floor echoed in the kitchen. Joohyun removed the sunny side ups from the frying pan and served them onto the plates before bringing them out to the dining table, where the yawning girl was waiting.

"School project?"

"Yeah."

"What about dinner?" Joohyun narrowed her eyes onto Seulgi as she sat down together with her. Her mind was tugging at the thought of the new restaurant down the street that the latter had promised to take her to last week. "We're still going right?"

"Oh," realization struck Seulgi as she sent the girl an apologetic look, mixed with a little guilt - a look that Joohyun had been trying to get herself used to recently. "I totally forgot about it."

Picking up the fork from the table, Joohyun lowered her gaze and dug into the breakfast in silence as she didn't know what she should say. It wasn't new but she still felt disappointment creeping up onto her.

"I'm sorry."

Joohyun cleared and assured, "it's okay."

She didn't want to make her girlfriend feel guiltier than she already was.

"I'm most probably going for dinner with my project mates after that. Let's postpone our dinner to next week, how about that? Is that okay?"

If she was a little braver, she would definitely voice out to say that it wasn't okay. Forgetting about their date wasn't okay to her, not at all. But the problem was that she wasn't. That little bit of courage to make things right, she didn't have it.

Joohyun forced a smile, "Of course."

And she ended up shrugging the matter off like she always did. Just because it was easier this way.

 

 

 

 

It was autumn.

Joohyun was eighteen when she first met Seulgi, who was two years her junior in the same high school. Like any other days, she was deeply engrossed in her novel during lunch break when she heard a knock on the classroom's door. The interruption made her look up and she was greeted by a sight of a smiling girl with a file in her hand.

"Hi, are you Joohyun?"

That was the first time she heard the girl speak. It was a voice that totally complemented her mature appearance. Even so, she still caught a tiny tint of innocence in it. Somehow, Joohyun found it adorable. If the girl hadn't spoken, she would have mistaken them to be of same age.

"Yes, I am," Joohyun answered and the nervous grin on the other side instantly broke into a wide smile.

She later learned that the younger girl had gotten her study notes through the school tradition where notes from the seniors were specifically picked and passed down to the juniors.

It was something that had been going on for years.

"There were some parts that I couldn't understand," Seulgi sat down onto the chair as she scratched her head. "I don't know how you derived the answer from this step onwards."

"Oh, this is easy. You see..."

Was it fate?

Because one meeting quickly lead to another and by the end of the year, they had become best friends that were inseparable. Packing lunch boxes for each other, waiting for each other after school, going for movie dates, having late night study sessions and stayovers at each other's house. They had done a lot of things together.

Their open affections towards each other had Joohyun and Seulgi constantly wrapped themselves in the attention of their friends' teasing which they had always shrugged them off as a 'best friends' thing.

But time always revealed one's true feeling.

So it didn't come as a surprise to Joohyun when the younger girl finally confessed to her at their usual hangout spot, at the rooftop, on the day of her graduation.

"I love you. Will you be my girlfriend?"

A blissful smile tugged at the corner of Joohyun's lips at the question that she had been anticipating all these while, "I will."

"Huh?"

"I said I will. I love you too."

And when Seulgi widened her eyes in disbelief at the sudden happiness for the second time, Joohyun took away all her doubts with her tippy toes and soft lips pressing shyly against the other one. Blushes crept up onto both of their cheeks. Seulgi froze as she felt fireworks setting in her heart at the unexpected closeness. Everything was happening too quickly. She had no idea what to do so she just stayed still and allowed the older girl to take the lead while she closed her eyes and savored the sweet moment.

The kiss was a short one but the after-taste continued to linger in their mind even after they pulled away from each other.

It was the taste of first love and first kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

Distance wasn't a problem when Joohyun started college because they lived close to each other. Just a few stops away by bus.

"Do you think we can be like them too? Holding onto each other's hand until the end of our time." Joohyun suddenly asked in the midst of the romance movie that was playing on the tv, where an elderly couple was sitting next to each other on the bench while watching the sunset.

The projects that Joohyun had been working on had rendered her not only physically but also mentally exhausted. And since Seulgi wasn't in the mood to head outside too, they had decided to stay in for a movie session as they snuggled close together on the younger's girl bed.

"Of course we can."

"Why are you so sure?"

"Because I love you and you love me?"

A frown settled onto Joohyun's face as she dropped her body to the side and laid her head onto Seulgi's lap. The latter started to run her fingers through the long and silky hair of her lover, terribly missing those that she had ruined. She had to blame her friend for the curls she had insisted on them doing together.

"You made everything sound so simple."

Seulgi inhaled a deep breath as she leaned down to sneak kisses on Joohyun's cheek, earning a groan from the older girl who was partially annoyed by the fact that her lipstick wasn't removed yet. She didn't want to waste time trying to wash them off later. "You're the one who loves to make things complicated."

"What if our love for each other faded?"

The younger girl creased her brow as if she was in deep thought. It was a question that she hadn't thought about before. "Hmm, I think as long as we love each other enough, nothing can break us apart."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"But seriously though," Joohyun hesitated and grabbed Seulgi's fingers as she started playing with them. "If there's one day when you don't love me, or I don't love you anymore, let's promise to be honest with each other. Because by then, it will be meaningless to hold onto something that's not there anymore."

"You know what? That won't happen because even if you ever forget, I will be here every day to remind you that I love you.

"That's cheesy!"

Seulgi snickered, "but you love it."

Giggles filled the afternoon and the movie was quickly ditched when Seulgi wrapped her arms possessively around Joohyun and hovered over her to capture her lips. This time, however, it didn't just stop there. Feelings overwhelmed them in a moment and the fact that her parents weren't home made things even more convenient.

 

 

 

 

Through the years, they had gotten into meaningless quarrels, jealousy issues and spending nights crying about each other's faults, only to apologize and talk things out the next day. Their differences became apparent as time went by but they had learned to be honest, to be understanding and to give in to each other. After all, that's what made a relationship beautiful.

Five years into their relationship, Seulgi had enrolled into college and they decided to move in together into a rented apartment when Joohyun had finally gotten herself a job with a stable income.

"Let's get a leather sofa!" Joohyun proposed as she held onto Seulgi's arms and roamed freely around the furniture shop, hoping to find things to fill up the empty spaces in the house. "It's easier to clean and won't attract dirt easily."

"But I don't like sitting on it. Why don't we just get a fabric one? It's comfortable and feels more like home."

A satisfied grin made its way sneakily up onto Joohyun's face at the mention of the word 'home'. It wasn't just a word to her though. Instead, it was something that her younger-self had anticipated her future-self to have. Something that represented her dream and future. She couldn't believe that it had finally come true.

"I suddenly realized that we have a home."

Somehow, the idea of coming home to a loved one was enticing.

The dazed look on the Joohyun's face didn't go unnoticed as Seulgi chuckled at the silliness that appeared out of the seriousness of this conversation. She pinched her nose and placed a quick kiss on her forehead, "Yes, love. We have a home now. A real home with just you and me."

Their relationship was getting stronger and Joohyun truly thought like what Seulgi had said before, that nothing could tear them apart anymore.

But she soon caught up with the realization that her idea of a home didn't really match up with the reality. As much love took efforts, falling out of love too, took the same amount of efforts, if not more.

 

_"How's school today?"_

_"Fine."_

 

_"How's work?"_

_"Same as usual."_

 

_"Are you coming back for dinner?"_

_"Most probably not."_

 

_"Want to catch a movie together this weekend?"_

_"Let's just stay in. I'm tired."_

_"Okay."_

 

Joohyun didn't know how or when it started.

Their communication reduced to a series of habitual greetings and the amount of time they had seen each other greatly lessened even though they lived under the same roof. When their friends asked about them, she didn't know what to answer. Words were caught up in . It irked her more that she had to lie about it.

The girl who used to ask about her day didn't seem interested in her life anymore. She, who used to spend time talking to her about almost everything seemed to find more joy in her own activities nowadays. And she, who used to take her out on frequent dates seemed to prefer hanging out with her own group of friends.

Just like this moment when she came home to an empty house after yet another broken promise.

Letting go of her bag, Joohyun headed straight into their shared room. Having the lights on or off, either of those wouldn't make a difference.

Many thoughts ran through her mind as she laid flat on the bed and stared at the ceiling above her, not even bothered to wash up and just willingly let the silence invade the room. She knew that Seulgi wouldn't be back until late at night when she would already be in a deep slumber to notice her girlfriend finally returning.

_What went wrong?_

Joohyun often pondered about the same question back and forth, again and again, but nothing came up to her mind. Or rather, she chose not to even think about it. It was frustrating.

Unknowingly, tears began to well up in her eyes and blurred her vision until the moment it finally strolled down her cheek. Loneliness engulfed her. All alone, and she didn't find the need to pretend anymore.

Her heart ached, not only at the emptiness that was lingering in the house but also at the realization that she too, was feeling the same way.

Falling out of love and all she could do was to watch helplessly as their relationship crumbled down.

 

 

 

 

Their anniversary was around the corner but since they would not be available on the day itself, Joohyun had suggested to celebrate it at an earlier date. It was better early than late. Seven o' clock, right on the dot, they arrived at the same eatery that they had always used to frequent. They were pleasantly surprised that it hadn't closed down like many others.

It wasn't a high-end restaurant or a fancy candy lit dinner that they always had for the past years. Instead, the eatery sold simple home-cooked meals that were easily available anywhere.

But what wasn't easily available was the memories that they had accumulated here over those years and Joohyun wished to relive them. She wanted to go back to those times when all they knew was studying and loving each other; back to those times when everything was so simple.

The electric fan rotated.

They sat down in the same seat and ordered the same set of meal, something that she had never expected for Seulgi to still remember.

"Does yours taste the same?"

Seulgi slurped the lifted noodles into with a spoonful of the herbal broth. "I think it does. At least, it's still as salty as I liked it to be."

"Mine too."

"Is it?"

"Yeah," Joohyun nodded. "Do you want to try?"

"Can you feed me?"

Joohyun was flustered by the sudden request as she grinned shyly. It was embarrassing as they were already many years ahead into their relationship to show such affections that only new couples would do. But as she lifted her head up to a pair of anticipating eyes, she picked up a big slice of pork meat together with some rice on the spoon and sent it into the other's mouth. Meat had always been the girl's favorite.

"Mhm, this is good." Seulgi cheered in delight as she too scooped a spoonful of her food and returned the favor. "Try mine too."

Joohyun received it with a beaming smile and her eyes widened at the tastiness of the food in , not sure whether it was due to the hunger or the fact that the food was really delicious. It could be both.

"Do you like it? I remember how you used to really hate salty food back then." Seulgi asked with a concerned look.

"It was delicious though."

"Really?"

"Mhm, I wonder why-" Before Joohyun could finish her sentence, she furrowed her brow as she watched the hand that was reaching out to her. Seulgi grabbed the tissue and stopped by the corner of to clean off the leftover stain. The older girl hadn't realized that she had made a mess while eating again.

"There you go."

"Thanks."

If there was one thing Joohyun could be certain of, it would be that she really miss all of these.

She missed the feeling of being in love.

 

 

 

 

Waves of ragged and uneven breathing filled the dimly-lit room and disrupted the midnight silence. Pieces of clothing were discarded onto the floor, leading a trail back to where the kiss had started. Whoever initiated it was no longer the concern when they found themselves drowning in the pleasure in each other's touch.

This time, however, they were both sober and wide awake.

The door to their room was shut. Joohyun's back fell flat onto the soft mattress when her legs hit the obstacles that forbade her to move in further. But she wasn't able to recover in time when Seulgi, being the stronger one straddled her and attached their lips back together, allowing the warmth and fuzziness to return.

As the pair of lips trailed down to her collarbone, Joohyun gripped hard onto Seulgi's tank top and arched her back in order to give the other girl a better access while trying to suppress the moans that were threatening to get out of . She shivered when she felt the wandering fingers sliding up and halted just right at her chin.

The kiss stopped and Seulgi supported herself up to look at her girlfriend who was under her.

She observed.

The night lamp on the table stand was bright enough for Seulgi to register the facial features of the girl that she had first fallen in love with. The eyes, nose, cheeks, ears, lips and the smile that she had sworn to protect - they screamed perfection.

Then, Joohyun felt the fingers moved upwards and slowly tracing its way along the silhouette of her face.

She wasn't easy to read but still, Joohyun managed to pick up fragments of insecurities and uncertainties here and there. And in the midst of it, somehow, Joohyun was able to grasp hold of the message that Seulgi was trying to express desperately through her intense gaze.

_I can do it. You can do it. We can do better._

Joohyun smiled bitterly at the revelation that she knew that she knew.

With a glimmer of hope, she convinced herself - maybe they could learn to love all over again from the start.

 

 

 

 

Seulgi started coming home earlier, often right after her lectures had ended. Maybe because she was too tired to hang out with her friends; maybe she wanted to study for her upcoming tests. Whatever the real reason was, Joohyun could see the efforts and she chose to believe that the girl still care.

Just like how she had taken the extra efforts during her free time after work to learn new dishes so that when Seulgi returned home, the fragrance of the home-cooked meals would reach to the tip of her nose before she even stepped a foot into the house.

"How's work? Is it still stressful?" Seulgi initiated as she scooped herself a small bowl of soup.

To say that Joohyun was happy would be an understatement. Nevertheless, she still liked the new changes. It made her feel even more assured especially knowing that she wasn't the only one who was still trying.

"Not anymore," Joohyun answered. "It's all good now since I've adapted fully into the new company."

"Want to go on a trip together after my semester ends then? We haven't gone on one together before."

"A trip?"

Seulgi dropped the pair of chopsticks and turned her attention to the other girl. "Yes, a trip. You've been working hard for us all these while. I thought that you deserve a break."

Those words were full of appreciation but at the same time, they felt like knives stabbing onto the opened wounds.

Years of being together, they hadn't even planned on a trip together, not even to the nearby city or province. Money was one concern and time was the next. A lot of occasions, it made Joohyun questioned herself if she had worked too hard for the future that she had neglected the present, their relationship.

Everything would have made sense this way.

"What do you think?" Seulgi's voice broke Joohyun's train of thoughts as she reached out for the latter's hands and pressed them against one another. "I still have some savings from the previous part-time job. We can't go far though. Maybe just Jeju Island and this time, I'll pay."

"Sounds good," Joohyun muttered. "Just set a date and let me know so that I can apply for leaves in advanced."

"Okay."

 

 

 

 

But the changes didn't even last for more than three months when they were reverted back into their old routines, gradually and certainly. The trip was swiftly thrown into the back of their heads and never mentioned again as if the conversation hadn't happened before. All the efforts that they had made to love again didn't matter anymore.

Everything was back to square one.

And Joohyun felt like she was almost done.

 

 

 

 

Night had set in but the street was still full of people.

Hand in hand, Joohyun and Seulgi found themselves in a mess, jostling through the shoppers while the latter kept turning her head back to make sure that she didn't lose her girlfriend. The weekend crowd was insane. They had just attended the wedding dinner of a mutual friend that they had known in high school and the sumptuous dinner had left their stomach feeling full and bloated.

They decided to take a stroll before heading home.

"Are you alright?" Seulgi asked when they finally made out of the crowd.

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

Joohyun nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine. Don't worry."

They exchanged a smile and Seulgi reached her hand out to fix the collar of Joohyun's coat. Then, their hands found their way back to each other again as they continued walking down the pavement that was lit up with night lamps.

The strong wind blew and hit onto their faces. The temperature was dropping and despite wearing an outer coat, Joohyun was still feeling cold. Seulgi must have noticed her discomfort through the little shivers when she slipped their connected hands together into her pocket. The action did warm her up a little.

"I still can't believe that Wendy is the one who settles down first."

"Yeah," Seulgi echoed the same sentiments. "I was really surprised when we received her invitation that day."

"She used to dread marriage a lot and often talked about how she wouldn't be anyone's wife. I wondered what happened."

"She changed?"

"Mhm," Joohyun nodded in agreement. "Then I approve this change. It's a good one."

The conversation died down gradually.

Images of Wendy in a wedding dress just now flashed across Joohyun's mind and she couldn't forget about how beautiful her friend had looked. The blissfulness that was portrayed onto her smiles, in particular, kept tugging her mind with envies. So that was how a woman would look like in a wedding dress while getting married to her loved one.

Once in a lifetime matter and she wondered when it would be her turn.

Joohyun turned her gaze discreetly towards the girl beside her but it just made her sad.

The path down the pavement stretched further and deeper into the night. The air stiffened and no words were exchanged. They just continued walking down the same way in silence, away from the people and noises, heading to wherever the path would lead them to.

They knew that there would always be somewhere for them.

Somehow.

 

 

 

 

The last bus arrived and they managed to hop onto it before they were to be stranded in the midst of nowhere.

Joohyun climbed the flight of stairs towards the upper deck with Seulgi following closely behind. Supporting herself with the grab poles, she hurried past the empty rows and settled down into the window seat near the rear. The younger girl plopped herself down beside her girlfriend.

The bus ride was long and Joohyun was dead tired. The air conditioner in the bus didn't help either instead, it was making her eyelids droop even lower, forming a perfect recipe for a quick nap. Even though she tried to contain it, the fatigue eventually took over her as she yawned repeatedly.

"Sleep, I'll wake you up when we reach."

"Mhm."

Carefully, Joohyun dropped her head onto Seulgi's shoulders. She used to love to depend on it heavily. So soft and comfortable; it was one thing that she wouldn't ever want to let go of. If she could, she would allow herself to drown in her embrace forever.

"Kang Seulgi."

"Hmm?"

Joohyun lifted her head up and blinked when she found herself in the other girl's eyes.

"I love you," she said.

Guilt followed immediately after the words were let out. Her heart clenched. She was the worst, saying the things that she didn't truthfully mean in her heart. They had promised to be honest with each other, she remembered what she had said and those words always came tugging at her conscience every single time.

It was harder than she had thought. Or maybe, both of them were just being selfish.

"I love you too," Seulgi confessed the same.

But Joohyun noticed one thing - their eyes never met.

And she didn't feel anything; not disappointment nor devastation.

There was nothing. Absolutely nothing.

 

 

 

 

The clock ticked as the sounds from the tv continued to fill the empty house.

It was one in the morning and Joohyun was supposed to be asleep. But no matter how many times she adjusted her sleeping position in the bed, flipping back and forth, and counting down to her insomnia, she couldn't. In the end, she settled herself onto the couch and laid onto her side as she browsed through the channels on the tv.

Seulgi wasn't back yet.

And her racing thoughts wouldn't leave her alone.

 

 

 

 

"Cheers to many more years of friendship! Let's drink till we drop!"

Noises disrupted the midnight serenity. The ruckus at the front door broke through Joohyun's semi-conscious state as she quickly sat up from the couch immediately with a deep frown on her face. The tv controller that she had been holding onto dropped onto the floor.

"One more round!"

Joohyun hurried to the girl who had just entered the house and fortunately, her legs were fast enough to catch her before she stumbled. The strong scent of alcohol reached deep into her nose and the redness was apparent on her cheeks. What happened? As far as she could recall, Seulgi didn't have the habit of drinking. Putting her arms around the girl's waist, she managed to support her into their bedroom and surprisingly, she didn't resist the help.

"How did you get yourself so drunk?" Joohyun mumbled to herself.

Once Seulgi was on the bed, she bent down to remove her shoes.

"Give me one more drink! I haven't had enough yet!"

"Shhh..." Throwing the shoes to the side, Joohyun climbed up the bed to sweep the fringe away from her face and try to calm her down. "Keep your volume down. You're going to wake the neighbors up."

Seulgi quietened down instantly.

Joohyun lifted the drunk girl's head with her and rested it on the pillow so that she could get into a comfortable sleeping position. Her eyes were closed. Slipping out of the bed, she took the opportunity to place the shoes back onto the rack before heading into the kitchen to grab a cold towel.

"Joohyun?"

"Yes, it's me," Joohyun answered when Seulgi's eyes suddenly fluttered open. She thought that she was already asleep.

"My girlfriend? Bae Joohyun?"

The questions were ignored. Dragging the wet towel along her arms, Joohyun moved her hand downwards and began to her shirt. However, when she reached the third button, she was stopped by Seulgi who was holding onto her wrist with a tight grip. Then, without warning, she sat up and lunged herself forward to engulf her into a hug.

Joohyun was stunned.

"Seulgi...?"

"You know that I love you a lot right?"

The sudden confession rendered Joohyun speechless as she stayed still in her position. She could feel the hot breaths hitting onto her skin. The question came too suddenly and she wasn't prepared at all for it. How should she respond? What should she say?

_Yes, I know that and I love you too._

It didn't sound right.

The silence was broken when Joohyun heard sniffs coming from the girl in her embrace. The arms on her waist tightened as Seulgi scooted closer, not giving her any space, as if she would be gone if she let go. Then, she felt the warm moisture staining her tank top. She was sure that the girl was crying but she didn't know why.

"I'm sorry," Seulgi apologized.

Joohyun's voice trembled, "for what?"

She wasn't entirely clueless. Somehow, she understood but she decided to let the girl finish her words anyway. It was another brief moment of silence before the girl finally broken down and Joohyun's head descended into a scene of complete chaos as she smoothed her hand along her back.

What else could she have done?

"I tried really hard. I really tried."

_Tried._

"We've been very distanced lately." Seulgi continued to sob. "And I know that. I'm not that dense. Believe me when I say that I did my best to make things right but whenever I see you, all I felt was guilt. Every time I lied about how much I love you, my heart felt much worse than it did before. It scares me to the point where I don't know what to do anymore."

_A drunk mind speaks a sober mind._

The saying made sense now.

Joohyun inhaled a deep breath at the overwhelming outburst with the truth exposed right in front of her. They had never been this truthful before and it hurt. She couldn't handle them. Not before and not right now.

"It doesn't feel good to witness our love fading away like this."

"I..."

"Can we just go back in time?" Seulgi pleaded as she looked up with a pair of tearful eyes. "Back to those days when we would hold each other's hands and not let go for a long time; to those days when we would kiss like there's no tomorrow; to those days when we would miss each other right after we parted. Can we?"

But they couldn't.

Tears clouded her vision and Joohyun lifted her head up, trying not to let them fall. They still did anyway. This time, however, she didn't bother wiping them away. She let just let them flow down her cheeks freely to everywhere they wanted.

For the rest of the night, they didn't really sleep.

 

 

 

 

The next morning came really quickly but too bad, Seulgi couldn't remember everything that had happened last night. All the words that they had said and all the tears that they had cried, she didn't have any memories of them. The only question that was bugging her mind was how she had arrived home safely without anybody's company.

Joohyun wondered too.

"Ginger tea for your hangover," she said and handed the cup over to the girl who had just come out of the bedroom, fully dressed in her school outfit.

Both of their eyes were swollen.

Joohyun watched closely as Seulgi gulped down the tea. Lowering her stares onto the floor, she started to play with her fingers. She was feeling nervous. Her lips moved and she was about to say something when the words were trapped in .

"Thanks, I'll wash the cup."

Joohyun came back to her sense and retreated into the dining table, "Oh, okay."

She sat down on the chair, with the back of the girl who was diligently doing the cleaning facing as the running water from the tap sounded in her ears.

_"It scares me to the point where I don't know what to do anymore."_

These words kept ringing in her mind and she couldn't tear away from the pleading look that the girl had given her last night. It was the first time she had witnessed that sight. Joohyun would have lashed out at the younger girl for hiding these feelings from her but she realized that she wasn't any better.

Feelings were uncontrollable and none of them were at fault. There was nobody to blame. It was something that Joohyun had finally come to terms with after months of denial.

So what's next?

They should let go but how? She wasn't sure.

"What time does your work end today?" Seulgi asked as she dried her hands.

"Five, I guess."

"Let's meet for dinner then. Remember the new restaurant down the street? I'm free today."

"Oh, right."

"I'll see you there at six, okay?"

"Mhm," Joohyun forced a smile and nodded.

It was an effort and Joohyun had recognized it. Even after everything that Seulgi had confessed last night, she was still trying. And that was enough. The leftover courage and desire to set them free, to bring their relationship to an end instantly diminished.

Even as Seulgi was walking past her to the door, putting on her shoes and being ready to head out, Joohyun would only stare. Then, like routine, she walked the leaving girl out and waved goodbye at her. Everything happened in split seconds and it was only when the door slammed shut and the familiar set of emptiness returned, she regretted.

In the end, she still did nothing.

 

**\- || End || -**

 

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**A/N:**

Thank you for reading and making it to the end! Writing this one-shot has left me emotionally drained and mentally exhausted so I was really proud of myself when I finally finished it. I contemplated a lot about whether I should end this on a happy or a sad note but eventually, I decided to leave it as an open-ended to emphasize the struggles of a couple being honest with each other when they were falling out of love. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed it and do leave a comment about what you think of it :)

Also, this was largely inspired by two awesome songs:  
Try by Park Won & I don't love you by Urban Zakapa.

On a side note, falling out of love really . 


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